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Forming a strong bond with your child is an important part of their emotional development but also into your development as a parent. These 5 books gave me new insights about attachment in general (first 3 books) and helped me get new insights and inspiration (last 2 books) as a parent.
The Attachment Theory, Volume 1: Attachment and Loss by Dr. E J M Bowlby.
This book might be a bit hard to read in the beginning as it contains a lot of research, methodology and ethological influences, which I greatly enjoy reading, but it is not for everyone. From Chapter 11 and on it goes more into the mother-child relationship and the different styles of attachment. This book is about how attachments are formed, the child's responses to loss and how to understand and combine these for the benefit of the child’s development.
The Attachment Theory, Volume 2: Separation: Anxiety and Anger by Dr. E J M Bowlby.
Separation, anxiety, and anger are the other side of the spectrum of attachment. These emotions are only experienced by anyone lucky enough to have formed an attachment in their lives. As adults, it is easy to disregards kids' cry for a lost or a broken toy. However, these tears are real and the pain that is being caused is shut down in modern societies. Often, these tears are classified as manipulation or attention-seeking. Read this book to really understand how loss, from small to big, affects human beings of all ages, especially as parents who want to empower their children through their feelings.
The Attachment Theory, Volume 3: Loss: Sadness and Depression by Dr. E J M Bowlby.
This is the third volume in this series and it is another inspiring read. Again the beginning of the book might be a bit dry with talk about the research and how the data is accumulated but from chapter 6 and on it is all about the findings of each research. This book is about all cases of sadness and depression. No matter how big (loss of a loved one) or small (loss of a dream), they include loss.
Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way by Mayim Bialik.
This book is totally different from the previous three. It is far easier to read. Not all principles might apply to you (and that’s ok) but you might pick up some ideas to apply to your parenting style whether it is regarding babywearing or breastfeeding or even being a parent in general. This book is more about following your mummy instincts instead of specific ‘rules’ provided by parenting books and social media.
Hold on to Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D. and Gabor Maté, M.D.
This book is a great helping hand to restore the bond you have with your kids. It also helps you to retain a strong emotional connection to your kids will grow up into confident adults. Especially when kids grow into their teenage years and need guidance more than ever.
These 5 books help me understand attachment better and I hope they also help you form a stronger bond with your kids.
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